Stay Out Of Family Dramas During The Holidays

Hi Dear,

I’m holding our Midlife Adventure Club tele-calls again!! If you are not part of the club and want to be it’s free and you can sign up here.

If you are feeling pulled in many directions right now and want some tips and support in establishing healthy boundaries so that your family doesn’t exhaust you this could be the thing that saves you this year!!

* If you are already part of the club email me: and put {Midlife Call} in the subject line.

* If you are NOT part of the club sign up at the link above.

I will then send you the phone number to use for our phone call on Monday, November 25, 8:00 – 8:45 Eastern time, 5:00 Pacific. It’s free except any long distance charges you may have.

Here’s an article to help you stay calm, energized, and enjoying the Thanksgiving holiday.

*~*~11 Steps ~ How To Keep Your Center During The Holidays *~*~

So often we find ourselves:

Doing things we really don’t want to do.
Feeling drained by the end of the day.
Wishing the holidays were behind us.
Dreading the one relative that pushes our buttons.
Feeling undervalued and unappreciated.

As we prepare to go and be with family today, here are some
tips on keeping centered, grounded, and preventing anyone
from pulling you off center.

We have tons of history with family, they know our buttons, our triggers and
what sets us off. They don’t mean to cause us harm or discomfort.

They are in familiar patterns with us and unconsciously are in the
comfort zone with those patterns. They want us to stay the same
and will do anything (which often involves using the knowledge about
our triggers and buttons) to manipulate us into being how they want
us to be and doing what they want us to do. Does this ring a bell?

Knowing this here are some suggestions.

1) Before you meet with them today, spend some time thinking
about why you want to be with them.

What makes them special to you?
What do you love about them?
Who would you like to spend time with today?
Who would you like to spend less time with?

2) Make a clear decision/intention to be with them and know why by
looking at the answers above. Making a clear decision aligns
our energy with the decision so there is not more “split energy”
where a part of us wishes we could get out of it and another
part of us feels guilty of selfish for feeling those feelings and
yet another part of us is resenting them and yet another part of
us………and on and on the “story goes.”

3) Decide to create a new story starting today.
Before you go reflect on the ways that you get sucked
into games, manipulations, obligations etc.

What triggers get pressed?
Lots of times we start to feel selfish, ungrateful, self centered, arrogant, self consumed……..etc.

How do they get triggered?
What behaviors, words, looks trigger the above responses from deep within us.

What are three new ways to respond vs. react to those triggers?
Feel them out and decide to try something new today.

4) Before you see them, get grounded in your new perspective and story.
Give your new story a name. Here’s mine: “Dinah Sets Herself Free.”

5) Stay in the feeling place of this centered perspective by “re-setting”
your inner vibrational meter when needed.

6) When you notice your triggers are getting set off, “re-set” your meter,
take a breath, and CHOOSE TO RESPOND DIFFERENTLY. Responding means
choosing and the vibration of choosing is totally different that the vibration
of reacting..

7) Be honest with yourself. Ask your self is you really want to do what is
requested of you.

8) Be especially aware of your tone of voice when responding to them.
People do not hear our words as much as the tone and energy in our words.

9) Don’t explain yourself to them. They don’t need to know the details of
why you are or are not responding to them they way that they are want you to
and are used to you doing.

10) Enjoy the entire day through “compassionate detachment”….like you
are watching a movie, watching the characters including your self without
any judgment, just a curious observation.

11) Give yourself a treat at the end of the day for being willing to go outside
of your comfort zone and take care of yourself.


Enchanted Blessings ~

Daina (DINAH) Puodziunas ~

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