Midlife Fairy Godmother Enterprises (sm) Newsletter
Midlife Fairy Dust Magic For Second Half Bliss

July 2004

This E-newsletter is for women in midlife who are finally ready to make their own dreams come true, but are feeling guilty, selfish, stuck, or just plain scared. It's time to become your own Midlife Fairy Godmother!

If you wish to unsubscribe, you can do so by clicking here: mailto:Dinah@Midlifefairygodmothers.com?subject=uncubscribe

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Contents Of This Issue:
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A Personal Note And Update From Dinah

Article Of The Month: The Next Challenge In Our Evolution As Empowered Women

Related Articles And Book: "O, The Oprah Magazine", July issue, "Putting Yourself First, Think It's Selfish, Think Again" Book by Barbara Sher, "It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now"

Midlife Fairy Godmothers Community Call: Second Tuesday of every month from 7:00 - 8:00 PM Eastern time. Next call is July 13 (see below for details).

Speaking Opportunity: Dinah - The Midlife Fairy Godmother From Eastern Europe, will be speaking at the Red Hat Society Convention with her red babuska and tiara on Friday, July 16 in Grand Rapids, MI. See http://www/Geocities/redtulipchapter.com

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A Personal Note From Dinah
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Yes, I know....I skipped June's newsletter! But hey, here's July's and I hope it stimulates some new insights for you, offers you some hope, or makes you chuckle at some of the absurdities of my life.

This spring involved a lot of work on my home and on the "back 40," I keep up nature trails that go all through the land, as well as plant an enormous amount of flowers throughout my outdoor meditation areas.

Many decades ago, my mother and grandmother created a beautiful enchanted circle surrounded by ancient junipers, which covers about a quarter of an acre of land.

It is where I used to hold the ceremonies many years ago as part of the Women's Wisdom Retreats for reconnecting with the earth. This spring, some dear women helped me clear some of the overgrown brush within the circle in preparation for the next chapter of the Women's Wisdom Retreats. I started holding the retreats again this spirng. There will be pictures up soon on the web site.

Massive amounts of work needed to be done on the land. Not that I need an excuse for late newsletters....but how about that one?? I also got the worst case of poison ivy in my life (and I've had it dozens of times). My eyes were even swollen shut! I couldn't see to write the June newsletter!

To move on to other things, I have been working diligently on the main message of Midlife Fairy Godmother Enterprises (sm) for over a year now. It has been presenting itself in bits and pieces....like a puzzle....a creative force that was wanting to be birthed through me because of the strong intentions of many women on the planet! Very interesting and exciting!! Come visit at http://www.MidlifeFairyGodmothers.com and let me know what you think about the focus that has emerged after talking with many of you about your challenges to making your dreams come true. Please point out any mistakes, etc. I'd love to hear from you!

Take time to enjoy the simple enchantments of summer time.

Daina Puodziunas - "DINAH - Midlife Fairy Godmother"

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Article Of The Month
The Next Challenge In Our Evolution As Empowered Women ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I'm gonna dance upon this earth, I'm gonna find joy in all this madness.....right here now, feelin free!"
Song from the Borne Sisters

During the first half of our lives, many of us played a big part in the women's movement for equality. In our passion to prove that we were capable of being, doing, and having whatever we set out minds to, we pulled out all the stops. We pressed on, not allowing anything to get in our way. We were determined to do it all. We multi-tasked and were darn proud of being better than men at it.

What happened was that we took on many, many hats and became everything to everyone and lost ourselves in the process. In an attempt to prove that we were good enough, we became super heroes. We did indeed prove that we could take a lot on, but at a cost to ourselves. Many of us (me included) burned out, became ill, resentful, and most of all, confused.

Then in midlife, we got all these great messages like: "It's Your Turn Now!" We were tired of watching everyone else go to the ball while we were busy seeing how many plates we could juggle at one time and decided that it WAS finally our turn. Eager to satisfy the hungers of our souls we started on a mission to make our own dreams come true. But we couldn't move forward. We spent thousands on seminars, books, schools, therapists, teachers, and mentors, but we stayed stuck.

It's so easy to think that there is something radically wrong with you when you are in this kind of situation. Believe me....I know it so well. I also know how maddening it is! In fact, I don't think I have ever experienced anything more frustrating, humiliating, and scary in my entire crazy life! So here we find ourselves...strong, gifted, empowered, wise, courageous women and we can't move forward on our dreams. I think that very well could be the definition of hell!

So what's this madness all about? What's the problem? If you have a dream, wish, or desire that you feel in your heart of hearts and you find yourself unable to move forward, it is very likely that you are the one holding yourself back without even knowing it. It's an inner dynamic called "conflicting intentions" where a part of us wants to go for our dreams and another part wants to stay safe and in familiar territory even when it is at a great expense to ourselves.

The safe and familiar territory is the shadow that we have been fighting our entire lives. We don't want to appear weak, greedy, selfish, incompetent, inconsiderate, or ungrateful. After all,we are empowered, self-aware women. We are hard working, dedicated, loving, honest, generous. Deep in our hearts we know that we are 'good' people and we are going to make damn sure that everyone else knows it too.

If you don't think this is true, think of the last time that you carved out a block of time for yourself. Did your plans get interrupted? Did someone need a favor? Did you drop what you were doing and storm off to the store, the meeting, or give them a ride? Do you cave in to other people's tantrums because they make you feel bad? Do you brag about how much you tolerate...."See how much I work?" Does conflict make you uncomfortable? Are you afraid people will dislike you if you're not cooperative? Welcome to what I call "The Cinderella Complex." This is at the root of the inability of most women to move forward on their dreams in midlife.

How do you think you can suddenly have the courage to focus on making your own dreams come true in the second half of your life when you can't keep a two hour commitment to yourself? If you go for your dreams, do you think some people may become jealous, offended, irritated? You bet they will and they will want you to know about it! And if you are more committed to proving that you are a selfless, caring, good person, you will take care of their needs before you take care of your own.

I found out that many of us answer "yes" automatically. We don't even think about it. It just sort of falls right out of our mouths because it is such an ingrained habit. I was shocked at my response when my oldest daughter (who has two children, one and two years old) asked me to watch their dog for a week while they went on vacation. "Sure" I answered, and felt good about it.

Now, I love animals, but I don't want to take care of any anymore. I decided that years ago. Not even for a day, let alone a week! Not only that, I don't like their dog very much. She is very wild and crazy!! Never mind that there would be her dog doo-doo all over my beautifully kept yard and possible interuptions during my coaching calls.

I felt fine about it when I went to sleep, but then I woke up in the middle of the night with a knot in my stomach. I really, really didn't want to take care of that dog, but I love my daughter so much and I wanted to be helpful to her. I knew I had to be my own fairy godmother and call her up the next day and tell her the bad news. It was harder than I thought. Especially when she told me that they already bought the plane tickts knowing that everything was taken care of.  Yikes!!

"Don't cave in," my inner fairy godmother whispered. I slowly began to tell her that I was very sorry for having to rethink my answer. I told her that I am in the process of learning how to take care of myself and it gets a little tricky sometimes, but I will get better at it. When I hung up the phone I felt a huge wave of relief and very, very proud of myself.

It takes tremendous strength to break the spell of the Cinderella Complex. You need a supportive environment of other women and a commitment to become your own midlife fairy godmother. Then hold on for the greatest adventure of your life! "If you believe that you only live once, your "good person" badge is looking more and more like a booby prize every day because it takes you away from doing what really matters to you." Barbara Sher

What if there was nothing left to prove? What if you were good enough in your own eyes? What if you gave up the fight? Think of all the energy that would be liberated for moving forward into your enchanted second life.

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Midlife Fairy Godmothers Community Call ****************************************************************************

If you can relate to this article, please join me in this month's community call. During last month's call, we talked about the biggest obstacles to becoming our own fairy godmother in midlife. It was fear. We each have our own fears and, as we all know, monsters live in the dark. When we shed the light of understanding on them, they begin to whither away.

So, put up your feet, get a glass of wine or some tea, dial into the conference line and let's talk some more about becoming our own fairy godmothers. Is there a way that you have taken care of yourself that you are proud of? Is there a challenge that you are facing? Do you have a question or concern? I'd love for you to join me for an hour of spirited conversation.

The call is on Tuesday, July 13, from 7:00 - 8:00 PM Eastern time. The conference line is 1 413 370 0333 extension 485. You can get the call for a 39 cent connect fee plus 3 cents per minute if you dial 1010987. That's just $2.19 for the whole hour.

Daina Puodziunas - Just call me Dinah, Midlife Fairy Godmother
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  /_\   /_\    Midlife Fairy Godmother Enterprises (sm)-Midlife Magick ™ For Second Half Bliss
Providing a 10 step magic formula for women who are eager to make their dreams come true in midlife,but are feeling selfish, stuck, or scared.

Join the free Adventurers Club and receive a monthly newsletter, community calls, and much more: mailto:Dinah@MidlifeFairyGodmothers.com?subject=adventurersclub
Web Address - http://www.MidlifeFairyGodmothers.com
Email - Dinah@MidlifeFairyGodmothers.com
Phone - 1 616 754 9672

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