One of my favorite authors, Dr. Christiane Northrup has revised and updated her book called "The Wisdom of Menopause". Along with addressing the physical symptoms, she focuses on "the change" as the most powerful time in a woman's life with the greatest opportunity for growth since adolescence!

"It's really designed to force you to look at the things that you've probably put under the carpet for a long time, and you should have, if you're raising kids, doing your job, getting your degree,"she said about the book. "But then at midlife you have to fuel your life for your soul or it doesn't work."

But it's not as easy as it sounds for most of us. Most of us are so used to caring for and doing for everyone else that we have no idea HOW to begin fueling our lives for our soul. And even when we do it feels awkward, selfish, strange. We are outside our comfort zone when it comes to being there for ourselves.

That's why we need support from each other. We understand what a challenge this is for us when others may not. Just this week I was supporting a woman (I'll call her Kathy) who is known for being very loyal to everyone she knows. She was faced with a decision to quit her job or stay. She wanted to quit, actually needed to quit was more like it, but here's what was standing in the way.

Everyone she worked with including her employer were very nice people. They all loved her! When she got back from vacation she was told they didn't know what they would do without her. She loved the relationships, but the pay was low and she didn't have time for the things that are important to her. What was standing in the way was that she hated feeling disloyal. She also couldn't stand the thought of them thinking of her as disloyal.

No matter how courageous, intelligent, powerful, or clever the midlife women I meet are, when it comes to identifying what they need to give up in order to fuel their soul it's always the same answer. It's always some version of what others will think of them.

"What is your soul wanting for you?" I asked her. Our soul is always guiding us and it's our job to get quiet enough to hear what it is saying. When people, places, or things are zapping our energy, Chi, Qi, Prana, our life force itself, our soul will always want us to make decisions that fuel instead of zap this precious gift.

In midlife, we have to start figuring out how to access, focus, and flow this gift that we are in charge of. No more taking it for granted! Dr. Northrup goes as far as to say about menopause: "This is not about hormone replacement. This is something that changes you from the inside out. This brings you to your knees and it's either grow or die." Wow, that's big!!

It takes a lot of courage. It takes a lot of self honesty. It takes risking others calling you  selfish, greedy, and the b word (bitch.)

What was Kathy's answer? After getting quiet and tuning into her heart she said that her soul was wanting her  to be as loyal to herself at least to the degree that she was to others. We wept together. When we hear the truth spoken, we recognize it instantly. We feel its power within our bodies. We feel the liberation in our minds and hearts. This is our soul talking.

Her next step is the action part which is the most difficult of all the steps. In group this week she will set a date to tell her employer and we will all hold a vision of her rising up in her power and being loyal to herself. Kathy has done this process before and one of the things she mentioned was this. "When the time came to take the action and every part of my being wanted to run, I could hear all your voices cheering me on. This meant everything to me and I faced my challenge. I wouldn't have done it without you. It was too scary!!"

Do you have situations in your life that are calling you to be there for yourself like never before? This is your soul's way of urging you to begin accessing some of that life force energy that is going to be the key to whether you thrive in the rest of your life or start feeling more and more depleted of health, vitality, and joy. That's the black and white truth of the matter.

Now ask yourself if it's worth it to be thought of as selfish by some? Is it really that big of a sacrifice or does it only feel that way? Then if they're going to call us bitches, let's have some fun with recreating the meaning!!

B - Babe,  I - In, T - Total, C - Control of, H - Herself

B - Beautiful, I - Intelligent, T - Talented, C - Charming, H - Hell of a Woman

B - Beautiful, I - Individual, T - That, C - Can, H - Handle Anything

Here's To All You _______ Out There!!! I love you!!!

 Daina (Dinah) Puodziunas