Midlife is a transitional time where we are moving from who we were to who we are becoming, but we are neither. We have left (or are leaving) the old, but have not yet arrived at the new. We are in the "in between" of life it can be a very scary place bringing with it feelings of disorientation, Divine discontent, insecurity, and vulnerability to name a few. This is known as a liminal time which means "relating to the threshold" - the void, betwixt and between, neither here nor there. The world as we know it often stops.
There is a part of us that interrupts uncertainty as a dangerous thing and wants us to run to safety, to the familiar, to security. Our culture and especially the media is supporting this point of view with everything it's got. But many of us baby boomers have been deepening our spiritual awareness for many decades now and have decided to approach this time as deeply sacred time. For us it is a time of reflecting, reassessing, reorienting, releasing, recharging, and renewing. And I say Amen to that!
Having gone through menopause, children leaving, parents dying, grandchildren arriving, relationships dissolving, living alone for the first time, and designing a new business I have found myself dizzy with change! I have also discovered that when our psyches are experiencing this kind of upheaval of the old, it is a perfect time to go within to create anew.
What we have to do is resist the temptation to revert to old habits because they make us feel comfortable and secure. This is an illusion!! Keep telling yourself that and remind yourself that this time is really an opportunity for personal transformation unlike anything you have ever experienced.
Change requires a letting go of what we've always known and done to allow something new. It requires a trust in ourselves and our higher power to create a new reality for us. It's time to put our spiritual beliefs into action. When we feel ungrounded in midlife, we can ground ourselves in our connection to the inner wisdom.
We can go within and find all of the answers and guidance we are looking for. We can dive head first into the void and feel the cleansing waters of rebirth. Neal Donald Walsch uses a phrase which I think captures the essence of why we should claim this opportunity within this transitional time. He says, "If you don't go within, you go without."
Here is a little exercise that is designed help you become your own fairy godmother and give the essence of what you long for to yourself instead of looking for it outside of yourself. It is designed to open your heart and fill it when you are feeling vulnerable or would normally toughen up or close down.
Get relaxed, put your hand on your heart and breathe with your belly going up and down like a balloon. Put your awareness on your heart area and simply allow yourself to feel what you are needing right now, whatever it is. You may experience a flood of feelings. Ask your heart, not your head to get to the core of the need like love, attention, respect, acknowledgment etc. Now imagine the need being filled.
Use your imagination as you did when you were a child and simply ask yourself, "What if I was ......, what would that feel like?" Allow yourself to be bathed in the fulfillment and be enchanted by it. When you feel full, release it in a bubble out to the universe. Notice if anything has changed within you. Go about your week and notice if you are attracting more of that into your life in any way. It's impossible to receive what we feel we lack! When we know how to fill ourselves up with the essence of what we long for, we are in a position to have it.
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