Many
of
us
reached
midlife
with
highly
developed
multi-tasking
skills
—we
figured
out
how
to
juggle
many
balls
in
the
air.
Then
life
decides
to
start
throwing
us
curve
balls!
They
come
out
of
nowhere
and
can
easily
throw
us
into
panic
mode.
You
find
yourself
suddenly
without
a
job.
You
find
out
you
have
a
chronic
illness.
A
family
member
dies.
Your
spouse
decides
he
wants
a
divorce
and
the
list
goes
on.
There
is
no
way
to
really
breeze
through
a
crisis,
but
there
is a
way
to
move
through
it
so
that
you
actually
use
the
crisis
for
your
own
growth
and
evolution
instead
of
allowing
it
to
use
you.
If I
have
learned
anything
from
the
curve
balls
that
life
has
thrown
me
it
is
this:
It's
not
what
is
happening
that
matters,
but
how
you
approach
what
is
happening
that
makes
all
the
difference
in
the
world.
A
little
angel
once
told
me
that
the
universe
likes
to
throw
us
curve
balls
to
see
what
we
do
with
them.
But
because
it
can
feel
so
bad,
we
often
judge
what
is
happening
as a
negative
event.
It's
so
automatic,
we
don't
even
notice
we’ve
made
this
assumption!
As I
engage
with
women
in
the
midst
of a
variety
of
midlife
transitions
, it
seems
that
these
curve
balls
are
coming
at
us
faster
and
more
frequently.
We
can
either
let
life
drag
us
down
or
we
can
rise
up
to
the
challenge
and
get
good
at
utilizing
curve
balls
to
make
us
wiser,
stronger,
more
creative,
and
more
resourceful.
Last
week
my
good
friend
and
I
were
exchanging
techniques for
staying
in
the
game when
life
and
love
take
unexpected
turns.
It
was
an
exciting
and
stimulating
conversation.
I
thought
I
would
share
what
we
were
talking
about
in seven
easy
steps.
~*
~
7
Steps
to
Reduce
Stress
and
Reorient
in a
Positive
Direction
~*~
1)
Take
Charge
Of
Your
Attitude:
Your
attitude,
orientation,
or
where
you
“come
from,”
is
the
key
to
learning
how
to
dance
with
change. When
we
embrace
adventure,
we
automatically
open
to
new
experiences with
a sense
of curiosity
about
how
the
world
works.
Many
people
live lives
directed
by
habit,
afraid
to
step
beyond
the
familiar
boundaries
of
their comfort
zones.
This
is
the reason
that
I
named
the
Midlife
Adventure
Club
as I
did.
The
attitude
of
adventure
takes
us
out
of
our
everyday
lives
and
thrusts
us
into
unfamiliar
but
ultimately
novel
and exciting
situations.
We
can discover
new
practices
and
philosophies
that
we
can
incorporate
into
our
lives.
2)
Stop
Wishing
Things
Were
Different:
This
will
only
make
you
feel
like
you
are
striking
out
and
can
easily
lead
to
depression.
Accept
what
is.
Stop
resisting
it.
Everyone
gets
their
share
of
hard
stuff
in
life.
It's
the
resistance
that
is
the
problem,
not
the
situation
at
hand.
Develop
your
skills
so
you
can
hit
whatever
pitch
is
coming
at
you
right
out
of
the
park!
3)
See
Your
Situation
From
Multiple
Viewing
Points:
A
~ Think
about
who
you
admire
in
the
world
and
imagine
how
they
might
view
the
situation.
B
~
Imagine
yourself
looking
back
on
the
situation
a
year
from
now.
What
would
your
advice
be?
What
about
ten
years
from
now?
How
do
you
want
to
remember
yourself
when
you
look
back
on
this
time?
C
~ Take
on
the
perspective
of
the
other
key
players
in
the
situation.
How
are
they
seeing
things?
D
~ Connect
with
your
heart
and
center
yourself.
Ask
your
soul
to
speak
through
your
heart.
What
might
your
soul
want
you
to
see,
learn,
and
do?
How
might
your
soul
be
looking
at
the
situation?
4)
Ask
Yourself:
What
Is
The
Worst
Thing
That
Can
Happen?
Project
the
worst-case
scenario
in
your
head.
Then
ask
yourself
if
you
could
handle
it.
Most
of
the
time
the
answer
is
"Sure
I
could,
I've
handled
worse
before."
This
frees
up
an
enormous
amount
of
energy.
The
psyche
is
not
in
panic
mode
anymore.
5)
Take
Action
To
Get
Grounded:
So
often
we
are
resistant
to
taking
action
when
we
have
no
idea
whether
it’s
the
right
action
to
take
or
when
we
can't
see
the
bigger
picture,
the
plan.
We
can
stay
stuck
trying
to
figure
out
what
is
happening
and
where
we
are
going
or
we
can
surrender
to
the
fact
that
we
can't
figure
things
out
but
still
move
forward
by
taking
a
step
even
when
we
are
not
sure
where
it
may
lead.
A ~
Shift
your
perspective
by
answering:
"What
am I
free
to
do
now?"
"How
can
I
use
what
is
happening
to
learn
self-sufficiency,
independence,
a
new
skill
that
may
take
my
life
to
the
next
level?"
B ~Pema
Chodron
says:
"Knowing
that
death
is
certain
and
the
time
of
death
is
uncertain,
what
is
the
most
important
thing?"
What
is
the
most
important
thing
for
you
right
now?
C ~Understand
that
you
can't
do
an
idea,
a
project,
or a
plan.
You
can
only
do
the
next
action.
So
what
is
the
next
action?
Often
times,
it
is
only
after
you
have
completed
an
action
that
the
next
one
is
revealed
to
you.
6)
Implant
Life~Affirming
Concepts
Within
The
Subconscious
Mind
To
Support
New
Choices:
Use
symbols,
words,
affirmations,
and
pictures
to
create
a
vision
map
(a
collage
on poster
board)
of
your
new
perspectives,
choices,
and
answers
to
the
above
questions.
Hang
it
by
your
bed
and
look
at
it
for
at
least
a
few
minutes
in
the
morning
as
you
rise
and
also
during
the
evening.
7)
Design
A
Personal
Ceremony
For
Your
Transition:
A
personal
ceremony
symbolizes
a
psychological,
emotional,
and
spiritual
transformation.
You
can
create
very
elaborate
ceremonies,
but
here
are
the
nuts
and
bolts
of
the
energy.
First
create
a
sacred
space
(whatever
that
means
to
you.)
A~
Write
what
you
want
to
release
on a
peace
of
paper.
This
may
be
the
need
to
control
a
situation,
losses
that
you
experienced,
resentments
and
other
yucky
feelings,
etc.
Burn
the
piece
of
paper
as
you
feel
the
release.
B~
Find
a
symbol
of
what
you
are
free
to
do
now.
Use
water
or
incense
to
bless
and
baptize this
symbol.
Keep
it
on
your
personal
alter
or
by
your
bedside
next
to
your
vision
map.
C~
Invite
at
least
one
other
person
to
witness
your
ceremony
and
support
you.
These
seven
steps
can
help
you
create
a
new
relationship
with
change,
challenge,
and
crisis.
I
hope
this
gives
you
some
ideas
on
how
to
reduce
stress
and
reorient
yourself
in
times
of
change
and
challenge.
It's
all
about
reorienting
yourself
so
that
you
are
proceeding
from
the
inside
out.
The
difference
is
that
you
see
yourself
not
as a
victim
reacting
to
life,
but
as
someone
learning
how
to
show
up
for
yourself
and
play
full
out.
